


a certain angel

by WalkTheStarsWithMe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mild Gore, Sam-Centric, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, other thing not tagged to prevent spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 03:05:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9415235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WalkTheStarsWithMe/pseuds/WalkTheStarsWithMe
Summary: Sam Winchester wanted a certain angel. He wanted to feel silken feathers under his hands and run his fingers through whispers of down the way his brother was allowed to, but Sam never acted on the urge, so his brother took the angel for his own. And the sounds of them panting and loving each other made Sam freeze and burn all at once.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is sad and gay and a little old ok  
>  **~Alder**

**I.**

Sam Winchester wanted a certain angel. He wanted to feel silken feathers under his hands and run his fingers through whispers of down the way his brother was allowed to, but Sam never acted on the urge, so his brother took the angel for his own. And the sounds of them panting and loving each other made Sam freeze and burn all at once.

 

 

**II.**

Sam Winchester loved a certain angel, even as he watched him struggle with all our humanly things, because even while caged in a terrified mortal skin the angel moved like quicksilver, and though he could not fly now he still gave off an ethereal aura like all other creatures of yore. Sam wanted to take the angel and pin him up someplace, maybe up against the wall, and pick him apart, like a scientist mounting a butterfly to a display plate, but the angel wasn't Sam's, and Sam knew he couldn't claim him, so Sam hung to the side, watching his brother and the angel grow inevitably closer and closer.

 

 

**III.**

Sam Winchester damned a certain angel, his tears blinding him as he threw his head back and shouted _Why? Why? Why?_ His brother's body lay torn apart in his arms, one hand still clenched as if holding a gun. It was a mess of blood and splintered bone and shredded flesh, and gore spilled over Sam's chest, but he didn't care about being contaminated anymore. He could wash away his brother's blood from his body, but he couldn't wash away his pain—not even if he skinned himself alive, soaked his hide, and hung it out to dry.

But cursing the angel's name didn't help; the angel couldn't possibly have saved Sam's brother, because the angel was human now, and his corpse lay just a few paces away from where Sam was, where it had fallen just moments before Sam's brother had.

 

 

**IV.**

Sam Winchester dreamed of not only of a certain angel that night, but also of a world where the three of them were all alive and happy and absolved of everything they had ever done.

 

 

**V.**

The dream hungered and demanded to be fed every moment of the day, and Sam did as it wanted because it was all he had left. He fed it all the demon blood and whiskey he could, and the dream grew and grew until it couldn’t stay inside of his mind any longer. Eventually it spilled out and swallowed him whole.


End file.
